The loss of self in adolescent girls: A case study

There is a basic moral struggle in life between meeting the needs of the self and meeting the needs of others. At every age, in countless ways individuals struggle to decide whose needs will be met. There are a number of potential problems in the resolution of this conflict. If an individual focuses too much on meeting his or her own needs, then a self-centeredness develops which precludes meaningful social interaction. If an individual focuses too much on meeting the needs of others, then a selflessness occurs. When one loses sight of one's own needs in an effort to meet the needs of others, what is known as a "loss of self" occurs (Gilligan 1989, pp. 14-15, 25). This research study was designed to explore the influence of regional socialization on the loss of self in adolescent girls. It was hypothesized that girls raised in southern states (of the United States) are more likely to experience a loss of self than girls raised in non-southern states. This hypothesis was grounded in historical and contemporary studies which emphasize the patriarchal nature of southern culture. Thirty girls were interviewed at a small, Episcopal boarding school for girls in southern Virginia, Chatham Hall. The major finding of this research was the very small number of girls who experienced a loss of self at Chatham Hall. Only three of the thirty girls interviewed expressed any loss of self. Given this unexpected finding, the analysis of the influence of regional socialization was not possible. This report, therefore, centers on an explanation of the unexpected finding regarding the loss of self. Based on findings from formal interviews with students, participant observation and an analysis of the literature, this report describes how four components of life at Chatham Hall work to prevent the loss of self. They are: (1) The Role of Religion; (2) The Role of The Honor Code and The Purple and Golden Rule; (3) The Role of The Leadership Program; (4) The Role of the Chatham Hall Community. Overall, the report emphasizes the importance of establishing and maintaining interpersonal connections in preventing the loss of self. It concludes that the key to the development of a strong sense of self is the presence of mutually respectful connections with others. The sense of community which arises out of these connections enables young women to find a balance in meeting the needs of the self and meeting the needs of others.