Seventy-Five Percent Mental: Life in Control

A man lies in a nursing home, his head cocked to one side, his mouth slightly agape. His cheeks sag back toward the white, cotton pillowcase that forces his mousy-gray hair in several directions. When he is capable of hope, he hopes that his heart will simply stop beating. It will not. Relentlessly persistent, beat after beat, his heart carries on while his body and mind wither away. I will not be this man. I am young and capable. I'm a woman in control. I must maintain this illusion. The reality is I have very little control. I plan for the worst, hope for the best, and live along the razor-thin line that exists between the two. SEVENTY-FIVE PERCENT MENTAL: LIFE IN CONTROL is a series of personal essays about life and the perception of control.